Warriors Do Not Heal
by Dobby's Socks
Summary: "It would have to hurt, it must hurt. It must be the most painful thing he ever endured. That, at least, might atone in some small measure for what he knew would happen next." MAJOR SPOLIERS for "The Night of the Doctor" minisode, takes place during, so excited for the 50th!


**Sorry, sorry, I know, I should work on my ongoing stuff, but how can you watch that minisode and **_**not**_** want to write something for it? If you haven't seen it—what are you doing here, go watch it first! Here:**

** www. / whats-new/video/ mini-episode-the-night-of-the-doctor/**

**All quotes come from the minisode, although the one quote is actually a reference to the proverb Luke 4:23. Either way, you recognize it, I don't own it. Other than that, enjoy!**

**Dobby's Polka-Dotted Sock**

**Warriors Do Not Heal**

Her words, sharp and biting, stung in a way that should not have been possible. He had known her but moments, and yet her judgments made him pause and protest when he should have been ensuring her safety. Now she was trapped on the other side of a deadlocked door, her own doing, and he doubted it would make a difference if he could get it open; she so stubbornly refused his help, the help of a Time Lord.

It wasn't fair how they all judged him for the actions of his people! He fled far and wide so determined to not take part, only stopping to try and fix anything, save anything he could. It was all in vain, of course; Kolox still exploded into nebula, Arcadia still fell. Yet just because he'd been unable to prevent these things, didn't mean they became his fault.

Did they?

What had been the point of his sparing the Daleks to preserve timelines, when now they and the Time Lords slaughtered each other and everyone else not in the billions, but in planets and civilizations? Could he have altered this course had he not pretended himself to be the good man, the just man, the Doctor? Would he and Cass be plunging to their deaths this very moment?

"Cass! _Cass_!"

When he came to, he could only wonder why it had had to be Karn. The Sisterhood was only one of many, many groups he was trying to avoid, to run from. Yet here he was. Their words, though ringing with truth, repelled him; how could he take part in this dreadful war? He despised it in itself more than the Daleks and Time Lords—or whatever they'd become—combined.

But if he did nothing…if he watched and despaired, as he had watched and despaired through that window at Cass, what would be left? The Sisterhood of Karn claimed he was the only one with the power to save all of the universe.

He wasn't, though, he was dead. He kept forgetting that, even as his hands shook and his breath came in labored heaves of his chest. His four minutes were drawing to a close, and he had to make his choice.

Looking at her on that stone slab, beyond his or anyone's help, made him think of all the others who were just the same, and all the others who would be. Who might not be, if he chose as the Sisterhood wanted him to choose. A terrible, impossible choice, one that the Doctor could not make. So he would become something who could.

"Make me a warrior now."

Ohila knew, of course, how he would choose. Of course she had the drink ready. He could console himself that this is not a willing decision, it is the only decision. And still he hated himself for what he was about to do with his final breath.

"Get out, get out!"

Could he not have this moment to himself? And yet he called to her once more, asking if it would hurt. She did not try to lie.

"Yes."

"Good."

It would have to hurt, it _must_ hurt. It must be the most painful thing he ever endured. That, at least, might atone in some small measure for what he knew would happen next. He saluted his companions, all dear friends he would never see or likely speak of again, for those times were at an end. His eyes fell on the still form of Cass, the embodiment of his choice, the final push he had needed. If he had to die, break all the promises he had ever made, and become this monster, could she not be saved in exchange?

An apology was all he could give her; there will be no more saving, only ending. The Doctor saved, but this new man he was about to drink to would not.

"Physician, heal thyself."

He was born again a warrior, christened in her blood.

**Thoughts? Guys, I'm serious, I might go crazy waiting a whole eight more days for this thing. I can't do it! Why are they so cruel? Ah well, probably should expect more updates from me as I try to wait (im)patiently for the 50****th****. Thanks for reading, and please review!**


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